


Wither away

by TururaJ



Category: Aldnoah.Zero (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Forced Marriage, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:41:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25251799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TururaJ/pseuds/TururaJ
Summary: For a short while I toyed with the thought that, maybe, just maybe, the two of us could really find compromise. I could help him with his work; I could handle the nasty gossiping and scheme to strengthen his social status; I could become his support and aim to nurture the Empire’s might. But now that I stand here, in the center of Vers, alone and in shame, my pride shattered to shambles, I realize there will be no future to this union.
Relationships: Kaizuka Inaho/Slaine Troyard
Comments: 23
Kudos: 65





	Wither away

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so. This is being written on my other sudden whim, mainly thanks to Vennie and Paper. I said I'd do it, girls, didn't I?  
> *scratches tiredly her head*  
> What you need to know about this canon divergence AU:  
> 1) This is totally Vers side. I'm a sucker for the Vers side.  
> 2) Orlane never died. Saaz never had reasons to wage war against Earth.  
> 3) Second war never happened.  
> 4) Inaho is born Versian.  
> All of that is pretty understandable (I think so at least) from the text, but I'm just mentioning it bc I like to ramble.
> 
> Also this has the 'forced marriage' topic, and it's one of my kinks so I simply had to do it one day. Some old ideas started crawling in here so I'm actually pretty set on finishing this in the near time.
> 
> Last, but no less important: Fuck kudos, feed me with comments.

I purse my lips as I claw my hand into the soft cloth of the wedding tailcoat. The red garment crumples under my grip - Father notices it, and his face goes paler then I’ve ever seen it. He steps up closer, lands his wide palm against my back. For a moment I close my eyes - they burn - and feel so grateful for his support. He had always been there for me, even though we are not connected by blood; he had always pulled me up when I needed it most; he had guided me and loved me, unconditionally. I cannot wish for a greater family. Count Saazbaum and Countess Orlane - whatever I may encounter from now on the memories of them will be forever engraved into my mind.

The grand hall of the Vers Palace is full of people. The whispers spread like plague, and my face burns in humiliation, in shame. What an absolute disgrace - to go through the wedding, left alone by my own supposed husband. Truly, I did not expect him to fly to Mars for this farce of a ceremony but he could have at least used the hologram communication device to be present for the Emperor’s blessings. Rayregalia Vers Rayvers, the Emperor, looks bored as he reads aloud the traditional marriage homily - something about love and care and _till death do us part_. I do not listen; everyone who is present is aware that this marriage takes place for the sake of politics, for strengthening the bonds between the Counts. Still, to stand here, abandoned, in a pricey garb, to become the laughing stock for the hordes of the Vers sharks is not something I had expected.

Princess Asseylum is, perhaps, the only one who doesn’t wear the mockery smile on her beautiful face. She smiles at me encouragingly, and her emerald eyes shine brightly. I raise my hand and brush my fringe the way it’ll obscure my face. I cannot look at her. She’s radiating happiness; I know she is excited for my union. She’s young and innocent; she doesn’t understand. And she does not see - and never will - my honest feelings. She will never know my heart belongs to her.

I lean against father’s hand and gulp down the deep bitterness. No, I did not hope to be together with the Princess; I’m not that naïve. Terran blood flows in my veins, and I’m merely an adoptee. Aside from the Saazbaum name, all I have as my leverage is an immense respect for my biological father. Before his death he was quite famous for studying the Aldnoah, and it is the only reason why many Vers Counts regard me as one of their own rather than a mere ugly rat. The Emperor would have never let me have his granddaughter even if I went to wage war against Earth and won. I always knew I would end up in a political marriage; it is quite common among the Counts and their offspring. Yet, what fate had in store for me surprised even my Father.

He had been very fierce when the Emperor visited our residence. He smashed his fist against the wall as soon as he heard the news. Such an undignified outburst had scared Mother and me, and we had to hold him and plead him to sit back in his armchair. Father was so angry that for a moment I had even forgotten that what was being discussed concerned my own future.

“Control yourself, Saazbaum. Count Kaizuka is one of our own,” the Emperor had replied, his shriveled hands tightly clasped his cane. “He brings results like none other does. If not for his diplomatic accomplishments we could have been at second war with the terrans. But he manages to wrestle both peaceful relations and provisions out of them while what we give them in return are crumbs.”

“You think I would trust a _terran_ _sycophant_ -”

“And _this_ is exactly the problem I want _fixed_. Count Kaizuka’s landing castle has been stationed in the Moon Satellite Belt for ages; because of his work he rarely visits home. Many had begun to doubt his loyalties, and I find it _unacceptable_ ,” the steel in the Emperor voice felt like a slap to my face despite that his words were directed at my Father. “As an adoptee of the Saazbaum dynasty, a trustworthy knight of my granddaughter, a respected descendant of the famous scientist, and, moreover, a terran _,_ _your son_ is a perfect party for him _._ Not only the Versian side would rethink their attitude but it may become a bonus for Kaizuka’s diplomatic work. Imagine terrans finding out that the Versian Count had married a terran. Would it not pick their curiosity and inspire trust?”

The talk had been short after that. Father did try to protect me but I could see the resolve in the Emperor’s eyes - he would not back down - and so I patted Father’s hand that was mercilessly tearing the leather covering of the armrest and sent him a small reassuring smile.

“It’s alright,” I said as grave sickness swelled inside of my stomach. “I’ll make sure the marriage works out.”

I am a great liar. I do not want this marriage to work out. I do not want this marriage at all. I want to stay by Asseylum’s side and watch her ascend to power. I want to help her build the strong Empire; I want her innocent desire of peace to prevail. I want to give my all being for her happiness; I’d gladly die protecting her. But there is no way I can oppose the Emperor, her beloved grandfather, and if I’m honest with myself, his idea of strengthening Count Kaizuka’s standing is not poor. There are a lot of adverse rumors about Kaizuka but the facts cannot be overlooked - the results of the negotiations he holds bring colossal resources to Vers.

For a short while I toyed with the thought that, maybe, just maybe, the two of us could really find compromise. I could help him with his work; I could handle the nasty gossiping and scheme to strengthen his social status; I could become his support and aim to nurture the Empire’s might. But now that I stand here, in the center of Vers, alone and in shame, my pride shattered to shambles, I realize there will be no future to this union.

I am not needed. I will not be appreciated. I am nothing but a nuisance - a doll to show off during the balls.

I close my eyes as the Emperor reads the pretentious lines on and on and on and wish so strongly for the open space to swallow the whole of the Vers Palace and carry me somewhere faraway, where the distant stars shine vividly, unbothered by the absurd human antics.

But the ceremony goes on, and soon I’m proclaimed to be the husband of Count Kaizuka Inaho. My fate becomes sealed.

***

The flight to the Moon Satellite Belt takes several days and I find myself regretting the refusal of Father’s offer to accompany me to my new home. Usually I’m quite fond of space travels but the anxiety I feel erases any other thoughts. I spend time in my compartment wondering about what type of meeting Count Kaizuka is going to grace me with. Will he at least explain what is going to be needed of me? Or will I have to find it out on my own? Where am I going to live? How am I supposed to communicate with him because, surely, we would have to be seen together during the social functions?

I am a nervous wreck as I descend from the space ship onto the main deck of Count Kaizuka’s landing castle. Low gravity makes it quite easy to cross the distance to where a lone person stands, hopefully, waiting for my arrival. There are other people hurrying around the deck too but no one pays me attention, no one even spares me a glance, as if the crew consists of robots, disinterested in their surroundings. I adjust my Count tailcoat and beg my hands to stop shaking. The person waiting for me near the main doors bows profoundly as I approach him.

“My lord, welcome! My name is Harklight and I have been tasked with your care.”

I watch as the tall young man who is not really much older than me straightens and locks his hands behind his back. He is in a typical grey helper’s attire; his hair is cut short; his polite smile seems genuine. Yet, the numbness in me grows. I had hoped that Kaizuka would at least welcome me in person since he never even sent an apology or any word after the missed ceremony. But, alas, no such luck.

“Count Kaizuka is not here?” I briefly ask Harklight, not quite managing to suppress the displeased twitch of my lips.

Harklight coughs and now it’s his turn to look anxious; his gaze slides to the left as if he’s not really brave enough to look me straight in the eyes. He shuffles nervously and at last says, “Milord Kaizuka is very busy and will see you later in the day. Please, my lord, let me show you to your rooms. You must be tired after the long flight. We have food prepared too.”

I quell the desire to torment my new servant with questions about Kaizuka’s obvious rudeness and let him guide me across the landing castle. It would not be good to ruin the relationship with my helper on the first day so I coach him into a long discussion about my new home and he gladly shows me around. The castle is huge, far huger then the ones stationed on the Mars orbit are. It is a mass of an enormous battle machine, supplied by the Aldnoah power, and it takes my breath away.

In here I can finally feel how powerful Vers Empire truly is; if we ever deemed the war between us and terrans necessary it would quickly escalate to hell. How many of these castles still reside in the Satellite Belt after the Interplanetary War, I wonder. Father had told me terrible stories about it; he had almost lost Mother during the fighting but Dr. Troyard, my biological father, had saved them both. Who knows where I’d have ended up if Father had lost Orlane and hadn’t invited Dr. Troyard to go back with them to Mars after the Hyper Gates’ destruction. Would I have stayed on Earth and lived my life as a terran? I find it hard to imagine, more so since my biological father died two years after we had moved to Mars. I would have become homeless, uncared for, a lone wolf. How do terrans care about orphans? Do they at all?

“You will be living with milord Kaizuka of course, my lord,” at last Harklight leads us to a spacey set of rooms, and I stop motionless in the middle of my new quarters, trying to absorb the surroundings while Harklight patiently stands near, ready to fulfill any of my whims. I step forward and carefully inspect the rooms: two bedrooms, two cabinets, a living room and a large bathroom with the adjoining toilet. I am a bit pleased to know I’m going to have my own bedroom and a cabinet but I cannot fight the stirring of fear inside. The rooms are bare, empty; they are devoid of life. There is furniture, sure, but it’s colorless - black and white - and there’s nothing else. No pictures, no books, no works of art or any comfortable pillows or carpets or any indication that a person lives here at all.

And so I ask my helper, my throat suddenly dry and tight, hoping that my guess is so very wrong, “Are these quarters new, Harklight?”

Harklight starts shifting again, the uneasiness in his posture is so clear I already know the answer before he opens his mouth. “No, my lord. I’ve been told Count Kaizuka has been living here since he was little.”

I bite my lip and wish for the evening to never come.

***

I don’t know if it’s for the best or not, but we do not meet in our quarters.

When the clock shows midnight Harklight shyly knocks on the door of my bedroom and invites me to follow him. Evidently, he is ashamed no less than I am when he informs me I have an option of declining the offer to meet my husband and that in that case Count Kaizuka won’t feel offended and will see me later when he has the time. I groan inwardly; the anger roots deep inside my chest. What kind of a human treats his own spouse in such a rude, tactless way? I can see that even Harklight is uncomfortable with the way Kaizuka chooses to deal with me but his manners are too proper to question his lord’s commandment.

Harklight leads me across the landing castle again, towards the communication hall that we hadn’t visited today, and as he opens the door for me I can finally see the place Count Kaizuka had secluded himself in. It is a grand room, with high ceilings and a special altar for the hologram communication device, and right behind it, at the far distance, there is a vast wooden table with countless chairs and countless bookshelves surrounding it. Books and scrolls, folders, memory devices, things I know no names for, litter the space freely, some of them are very close to falling to the floor. Harklight bows shortly and hurriedly retreats back, leaving me alone with my spouse.

Count Kaizuka rests in one of the high chairs which resembles a throne, and I have to swallow the panic as I approach him. The bright lights are blinding me; my loud steps can be easily heard - my boots have small heels and the floor is made of marble. Belatedly, I realize this hall must be the place where Kaizuka conducts diplomatic meetings when they occur at his castle. He is seeing me in his nature, in his domain, in the place of the utmost power. Is he mocking me? Is he trying to show me how worthless I am?

“Thank you for seeing me this late, Troyard. I will be brief.”

His voice is emotionless, just like his pale face is. I stop in front of his table and keep my hands at my sides through sheer will. Kaizuka has such an authoritative air I am almost forced to fold my hands behind my back, like I did during the military training in the Vers Academy in my teenage years. I look at him, defiance burning deep within me and hide my hurt over the awful treatment.

He sits in the damn chair like an Emperor, hands clasped into a lock, one leg draped over the other. He’s got a mop of raven hair but it is combed back, and his bloody eyes attentively devour my posture as if he’s judging me to my very core. His Count coat is unbuttoned, allowing me to see his pristine white shirt. His white scarf is draped over the chair’s back and it’s the only sign that makes me think Kaizuka is not meeting me for some kind of a work reason. He is handsome, I’ll give him that, but his coldness is almost palpable. My stomach churns as his thin lips open up, and a soft but an impossibly sure voice carries his words.

“I am not satisfied with our marriage arrangement. Neither, I’m sure, you are. But we have to abide to the Emperor’s orders and that is the only reason you are here,” Kaizuka makes a pause, waits for my reaction, and I give him none. He is right, after all. “I will not waste my time and pretend our union was created for something more than it was. We will keep the charade of the honorable spouses in front of terrans, of course, since I do not want my work to be influenced by this farce. And that is why I have prepared a short set of rules for you. I do not need anything else from you other than following these rules. Is that clear? Whatever you do with the rest of your time is not my concern.”

“May I hear the list then?” I callously ask. I cannot believe Kaizuka has yet to offer me to sit down. Does he enjoy watching me stand in front of him like a servant? I count to ten in my mind; blowing up just won’t do. The sooner this discussion is over - the better.

Kaizuka turns his head a bit to the side and watches me but no matter how hard I try to watch him back I realize that I cannot read him. Does my docile behavior confuse him? I’m pretty sure any other Vers Count in my place would have already thrown a tantrum but I do not want to complicate things. Kaizuka Inaho is going to be my husband for the rest of our days; there is no such thing as a divorce in the Vers society. Even if I already wholeheartedly detest him there is still a possibility to make our union bearable, and that is - to see each other as little as we can. If his ‘rules’ are oriented to this direction I may be amenable to follow them.

“The only times I would need you to perform as my husband are social events. During those times you are not to interfere with my work in any way; the ideal would be you keeping your mouth shut the whole time but people will be curious so what I mainly ask of you is to stir the conversations away from any topics about Earth, Mars and politics. Keep the talks short, avoid contact, do not leave my side,” Kaizuka’s voice is monotonous. He stretches his hand over the wooden armrest and slowly massages his wrist with precise motions. He looks as if he’s universally bored. “Here, at the castle, we will have to share quarters but it is only to keep the rumors at bay, and you’ve already seen your own bedroom. However, there are times when I am required to visit Earth for days so you should expect that the provided resting chambers would not have same luxury. Sometimes we will have to share bed.”

“If that is all then it’s rather acceptable,” I utter. This might be easier than I’ve thought. I do not have any experience in diplomacy either way so even if Kaizuka wanted me to take part in the negotiations I doubt I could’ve obtained any good results. I can easily play an obedient husband though; I’m good at talking with people so controlling a conversation won’t pose a problem. So far Kaizuka’s demands are reasonable, even though they make me feel useless. But he had mentioned that I’ll be free to do what I want with my free time so I’ll just hope to find a worthy pastime. Like flying and fixing kataphrakts or studying to continue my biological father’s research.

“That is not all. There is one more thing that I’ll require from you from time to time,” Kaizuka gracefully stands up and walks along the table, breaking our eye contact. With a surprise I finally notice that I might be taller than him, not much though, maybe five centimeters or so. The small detail confuses me enough to almost miss what he says next. “Sex.”

My head whirls. The violent mixture of anger and panic pushes me to step forward and I land my fists against the messy table, forcing some of the papers to fly down from it. “What? What did you say?”

“I said ‘sex’, Troyard. And this is the rule I’m not going to negotiate on. Let me be clear,” Kaizuka continues to explain his stance and I look at how he fishes out a rectangular silver box from the dusty shelf of the nearest rack. “The primary aim of this marriage is for me to regain the respect of the Versian Counts. You are widely known as Count Saazbaum’s son, as a loyal knight of Princess Asseylum, as Dr. Troyard’s descendant. You hold all the respect the Emperor wants for me. Now, if I were to cheat on you, if I were to use the service of concubines to satisfy my needs and the gossiping about it got out, think of how badly it would add to the current clause. I am not risking a fail of the Emperor’s plan.”

No, I cannot hold back. “You have already disrespected me enough by not being present during the wedding ceremony!” I raise my voice and stare at Kaizuka in desperation. Is he serious? I will have to _bed_ him? I will have to let him shred the remains of my dignity into nothingness? He is joking, right? Right?

“That can be easily explained by the troubles with the communication device. It does break sometimes,” Kaizuka calmly tells me and throws the silver box over the table. It hits my hand painfully and, too lost in anguish to think properly, I automatically open it. Inside are our wedding rings, made of plain gold and decorated with a strange silver lining. I examine the lining but cannot fully grasp the ornament; I’m too distracted. I’ve never had partners; I’m still in love with Asseylum; I abhor Kaizuka. How am I supposed to have sex with him?

“No, it is impossible,” I mumble and grip one of the two rings in my palm, hoping for it to break. It does not.

Kaizuka silently walks up to me, takes up the second ring and slides it on his ring finger. He looks at me then, and for the first time I sense something akin to fatigue in the way he holds his body. “Troyard, I’m not an amorous person. The most I’ll require is once in a month or two to get the tension off.” Disgusted, I make a step back and he immediately retreats too; his cold demeanor returns in a matter of seconds.

I want to laugh bitterly but the only thing I do is follow Kaizuka’s example and slide the ring I hold onto my finger. There is no way I can escape this marriage; I’m already rooted by the abyss of misery. I am going to wither away here, worthless, lonely, broken beyond repair. What a fitting mockery of life!

“Dismissed,” Kaizuka tells me. I make a grimace at the apparent disregard but Count Kaizuka is not paying attention to me anymore. He had gotten the last word in our conversation and is probably satisfied with it. I turn on my heels and leave the hall, rousing thundering echoes of steps in my wake.

The future is bleak. There’s no love in it. There cannot be. In this empty colorless realm no miracles will occur.


End file.
